…and the rest is history

Over on Boomerific, the very smart Snapper’s Mom asked her readers to answer a few questions.  I try not to intellectualize this stuff because it would just end up hurting my brain, but I’m happy to indulge her.  The rest of you…talk quietly amongst yourselves for the duration of this babble.

What does a typical day look like at your house?

Because T has morning issues but still wants to get to school early (and because we have to share one bathroom that does NOT have double sinks), I’ve been relegated  to the 4:45 a.m. wake-up slot.  I get up, do my thing and shower, which has the effect of gently waking up the Man of the house.  I then shuffle off to the office to dry my hair, dress and catch up on email/work.

At some point, J gets up and I take care of his oh-so-important needs while T packs his own lunch.  T kisses me goodbye, tries to do the same to a very wiggly J, and stumbles off for his 45-minute commute.

Fourty-five minutes later, I’ve wasted all the time I can and begin packing J, his blanket and his humongous tote into the mighty Aztek for my oh-so-sweet 10 minute commute.  I drop J off at daycare and two minutes later I’m at work and doing work-like activities.

After I’ve left school at the earliest possible moment, I pick up J and either drive him home or head to the grocery store to pick up another (yes, another) gallon of milk.  At home, I wait for a variable amount of time for T to come home and play with J, feed him, bathe him and watch him collapse after a day with only a 20 minute nap.

T and I take turns making dinner, although there’s not a settled schedule.  I normally clean up because if I didn’t, the food would sit for a few days.  We fondle the keys of our respective computers and then head for bed.

How do you divide up household responsibilities?

T does all his own wash.  I do J’s and mine and then leave all our clothing unfolded.  T’s are always folded within an hour of the dryer stopping.  Always.  T mows the lawn because he LOVES it.  We normally clean the house together on Saturday and food…well, we try turns but it’s normally up to whoever feels the guiltiest about not cooking or is the most hungry.

T sometimes feeds J, but I’m the primary caregiver, I guess–just because I’m around more when J is awake.  Oh, and because T is afraid that J will drown as he bathes him, so that’s my duty alone.

How do your ideals inform your choices? How do your choices fall short of them?

Truthfully, I don’t have ideals.  I was raised in a household where the kids (all girls) were frequently ordered to get the dad things from the frig, basement, etc.  My mom and I cooked and worked on the farm.  Dad did more work outside, but really didn’t seem to do anything in the house.  That was never my ideal, although out of habit I did “serve” T when we first got married. He got sick of me bringing him plates of food and beer from the fridge and made me stop.  Thank God.

Really, I’d rather just have a maid and her do all the household work.

Do you have a secret weapon? If so, what is it?

T does this thing called a spot check, which I’ve picked up from him.  He picked it up during a session with a marriage counselor in the practice run of a marriage he did before I hog-tied him and forced him to put a ring on my finger.  Every once in a while, he or I says “Spot check!” and we have to say what’s been bothering us about the other person lately.  At the beginning, there was a lot.  Lately,  the spot checks are few and far between, but I think we’re pretty settled into a routine and into each other.  Beautiful, huh?